The Elixir of Life: Harry Potter
by Ixerarim
Summary: The Dursleys are no longer cartoonish bullies. Hogwarts is no longer a bright, safe place. The students are no longer innocent children. The staff are no longer supporting authority figures. And Harry Potter is no longer Harry Potter. Welcome to Scary Potter.
1. You-Know-Who Number Two

"You don't really believe that Lily and James' son would be..." the austere looking lady with the pointy nose drifted off. "You-Know-Who-The-Second, or whatever he's being called?"

"No, I do not believe said rumors. They are merely fearful - which is fully justifiable -, a one year old rendering the Dark Lord nugatory? Preposterous, they say." The man with an oddly twinkling eye responded, not looking directly at the woman. "They call him You-Know-Who Number Two."

The lady raised one of her eyebrows, "Who's they, anyway?"

The man smirked in amusement, now looking into her eyes. "You know who."

The woman did not laugh, nor did she need to suppress one, she only tightened her lips into a narrow line.

"Of course you don't, Albus." the woman said dolefully. "You've never been one for doubt... however, I feel that you're dismissing this allegation far too easily. Even you weren't able to-"

"And you think that this young boy is?" the bearded man who goes by Albus inquired, furrowing his brow in question.

The woman looked stupefied, "Whatever do you mean by that?"

Albus smiled, "Minerva, Voldemort (the woman, Minerva, flinched.) has not evanesced. He is merely in hiding, formulating a strategy to regain power. You tend to forget how well I knew the boy."

"You thought you knew him," Minerva corrected, looking thoroughly convinced by Albus' words.

"Oh, I knew." Albus frowned slightly, "I just wish I could've stopped him."

Before another comment could be made, the once dingy alleyway was filled with light, and it was coming from an incoming, large motorcycle, carrying a large man.

"Incomin'!" the motorcycle man called, "I got 'Arry!"

Albus nodded his approval as the giant man dismounted the motorcycle, "Well done, Hagrid. How is he?"

The giant man, Hagrid, scratched his head vehemently. "'E ain't doin too well, I suspect 'e ain't mentally the same. 'Ell, I know I wouldn' be."

"How do you know?" Minerva looked at Hagrid with conspicuous suspicion, "I'm fairly assured that Harry has not idea what had even taken place, let alone may he be traumatized about the event."

Hagrid shrugged his massive shoulders, looking slightly pink in the face. "'E was crying 'till abou' halfway 'ere, then 'e fell asleep. You can jus' tell, get it?"

Minerva shook her head, but said no further.

Albus pointed at the baby wrapped in a moldy blue blanket in Hagrid's arms, looking directly at the boy's forehead. "I am not concerned for the boy's mental state, more his physical. It appears he has a scar left from the attack, which is extremely lucky."

Minerva narrowed her eyes, following Albus' lead and staring at the child's lightning-shaped scar. "Lucky? And what do you mean you perturbed for his mentality? Albus?"

But he did not answer.

Albus took the boy from Hagrid's overlarge fingers, marching towards a house that looks exactly like every other in the neighborhood.

He set him upon the front door, sticking a note inside the blankets and knocking the door politely.

"So, are you finally going to explain to us why we're leaving Harry with these barbarians?" Minerva asked Albus when he returned.

"No," Albus answered, then turned around to disapparate, not leaving a single speck in his wake.


	2. Harry's Mule

"It's 6:00PM, in case you were wondering." a voice Harry hardly recognized startled him into a sitting position.

He was met with a skinny, insalubrious woman's zombie-like face, who had beeb deemed his Aunt, his Aunt Petunia.

Harry gave her a vexed expression, quickly snatching his glasses off of his bedside table and smashing them onto hid face.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier, you bony bitch?"

Aunt Petunia didn't even spare him a glance as she walked, hunched over, out of his bedroom.

Harry sighed, rubbing his temples.

That mule, he was used to the pathetic woman acting like this; adejected, negligent to all of Harry's needs.

He hopped off of his king sized bed, looking outside his dusty window to find that the sky was beginning to dim.

Then he heard the doorbell ring, which confunded him for a minute.

They hadn't been visited in ages, ever since his abusive Uncle Vernon left with his equally as adverse cousin, Dudley.

"Woman!" he called, knowing the woman was most likely sulking in her bedroom. "The door - someone's at the door!"

His declaration was met with a soapy sob, so Harry, grudgingly, made the responsible decision to answer the door himself.

He trotted down the stairs and onto the cold kitchen floors, then went the rest of the short distance walk to the front door.

"What!" Harry barked at the person behind the door.

"Mail," a woman's voice answered through the door.

"A woman," he sneered quietly. "You have three seconds to get out of this vicinity, then maybe I'll forget the revulsion I am currently feeling that someone like you has even touched my letter."

"Er- alright."

He then heard the crunching footsteps finally fade into nothingness, cueing him to check outside to see if a woman had attempted to cop him out.

She had not.

As it turned out, there was a yellowish envelope with emerald ink sitting in their doorway, a positive aura that Harry was no accustomed with radiating from the parchment within.

He picked it up carefully, then changed his attitude completely and tore it open with such ferocity that the letter reverberated upon the wall and landed on the dining table neatly.

Harry grinned, placing the letter inside his scarred fingers and reading the text:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Harry Potter,

We are required to inform you that you have been allowed into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We must have your owl by no later than July 31. If it is later than said date, you become a sacrifice to a wizard desiring a Horcrux.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress

The second page with requirements says:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

UNIFORM First-year students will require: 1. Three sets of plain work robes (black) 2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear 3 .One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) 4. One winter cloak (black, with black fastenings) Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry number tags.

COURSE BOOKS All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch

Many Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger

Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

OWNERS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK. IF CAUGHT SPORTING ONE, THEY WILL BE SACRIFICED TO A WIZARD DESIRING A HORCRUX.

Harry's letter slipped from his fingers, falling to the floor without a single sounds, and he immediately crashed to the floor, hearing his head crack before the door came bursting open.


End file.
